not a good texter-backer

I used to be one of those people who had their cell phone in their pocket at all times of the day. I would pull it out every couple minutes hoping that once I lit up the front screen I would see the little icon indicating whether or not I had a text, a missed call, or a voicemail. That familiar vibration in my pocket made my heart skip a beat and I would anxiously seize my cell phone out of the pocket as fast I could, open it with upmost aprehension, see the name of the sender, read the message with all carefulness and reply almost instantly. It got a little ridiculous. I would panic if I forgot it one day at school or work and the hours would pass by eternally slow until I could once again rush home and see all the messages I had missed.

When I was dating Chris it was no different. I couldn't let my phone out of my sight. I would wait and wait for each and every single message. Looking back I hated that I was like that. I think it's important to be a little unavailable sometimes. Once we broke up I realized my absurdity. I didn't want to be so connected. I didn't want to be one of those people that has to have their cell phone wherever they go. I wanted to be a little untouchable and I wanted to be uncontactable every once in a while. So I made some goals.

Maybe I've gone a little far the other way now. I forget my cell phone all the time. I can go hours without looking at it. When I'm at home I leave it in my room and don't check it until I go to bed. I keep it in my backpack pocket when I'm at work. When I do get a text I look at it and forget that I have to reply. You'll never see me at church with the thing that's for sure. I'm proud to say I can go those three hours without any interruption.

Maybe I've become more anti-cell phone lately because we watched a Frontline special called Digital Nation several weeks ago in my Senior Seminar class and it kinda scared the heeber-jeebers out of me. It talked about the future of digital media and the use of everything from cell phones, to Second Life (super creepy if you ask me), internet in schools and classrooms, and texting. Although I realize the incredible importance that digital media has in my life and will have in my future life and the life of my kids, I'm not sure I'm ready for the kind of world where all business meetings involve avatars and the kiddos do all their assignments through blogging. Unplugging from the media might be one of those things I will have teach my children. Who knows?

Sometimes I just want to get away where no one can find me, where the pace is a little slower and the updates don't matter.

So from me to you, if you are one of those people who's texted or call me and never received a reply I apologize. I didn't mean to offend at all. Just know that I'm trying to be a little less wired in and a lot less concerned with everything else.