A final paper

I've known since my first semester in college that eventually I'd have to take Senior Seminar. I never strayed from the Political Science major I had chosen before I even entered into college and therefore knew that eventually the day would come when I would have to take the infamous senior research class and write the eternally long senior research paper.

That day came.

And finally that day has ended.

When winter semester started I was prepared and although a little intimidated for what awaited me I was ready to take Senior Seminar by the horns and conquer it. Over three months time we studied Civic Engagement, the theme for our semester's course, read books, our professor's dissertation on the same subject, and eventually chose our own topic and started writing our paper. Since I have half of a Hispanic heart and have had many experiences living with, working with, and interacting with Hispanics, I decided to write my paper on the effect of Mexican immigration on American Civic Engagement. I wasn't so intimidated anymore because the topic interested me and 35 pages didn't seem too overwhelming.

Well as anyone else who's had a crazy insane last semester knows, I didn't have all the time in the world to dedicate to my paper. There were always other assignments to do and study groups to attend. But slowly and surely my paper started coming together. It was hard though and time consuming, sifting through hundreds of scholarly articles and choosing which ones to include, deciding exactly what my thesis would say, and how I would go about actually doing real political science for the first time in my life.

My paper was always in the back of my mind. It wasn't finished and I wanted it to be. I desperately wanted it to be done and over and have that weight, that thing I've had in the back of my mind for six years, out of my head and on paper.

It all came down to the last week. I had finals. I had other papers due. I was determined to have it finished three days in advance so that I could enjoy my graduation ceremonies and my family visiting. Ultimately I spent almost 10 hours in the library my second to last day in college working on my paper and putting the finishing touches on it. My eyes were going cross-eyed and my head ached. My body was tense and my limbs tired.

At last I pushed the print button and went to retrieve my final paper, all 32 pages of it. Every word I had written, every source I had found. It came out of the printer and dazily I started walking back to my library niche to pack up my things. I was overcome with emotion. It was just then that I saw my sister-in-law. She asked what I was doing and I handed her the paper. Tears started welling up in my eyes. It wasn't just the paper being done that brought me to tears. I was done. I was exhausted. I was emotionally and mentally drained from seven hard semesters that had tested and tried me in every way possible and being done with this paper represented a culmination of it all. The end of my college career. She handed me back my paper and once I gathered up my things I walked out to my car. I dumped all my stuff in the back seat, sank in the front seat and wept.

I was relieved. The burden I had carried, the stress of a higher education was over. At least for now. To have a hard last semester, instead of one with few credits, was a wise choice for me. It pushed me to the very extreme as I battled time and energy for months and through it all came out on top.

There might come a day when a paper containing more pages and more research might be assigned to me if I decide to pursue a graduate degree, but we'll see. For now I'm glad this one is in the past and forever written down on paper instead of the tablets of my brain.